Digital Chum - Virtual fish guts and other nonsense


The Prime Donut Rule

DonutsToday being Fastnacht Day, a generous coworker bought some fastnachts to share with everyone, which is a commendable act… almost as commendable as providing free bacon, but that’s another story.

I glanced into one of the fastnacht bags to pick out a bit of doughy, sugary goodness and saw, much to my chagrin, a knife and a third of a fastnacht next to the whole ones. Someone had actually gone to the trouble of cutting a fastnacht into three pieces. Count ’em! Three!

It’s outrageous!

Donuts (and fastnachts by relation) are whole entities. They should not be torn, cut, bent, broken, poked, or sliced by any utensil other than human teeth (pet treats notwithstanding). If you can eat half a donut, you can eat a whole donut and it really won’t make that much of a difference to your diet. If, for some unearthly reason, you feel that you cannot somehow manage to scarf down an entire entity of glazed or sugary or iced or jelly-filled goodness, you should simply refrain from partaking at all… or eat what you can and dispose of the remainder.

Donuts are art. Splitting up a donut is therefore destruction of art and should not be tolerated. It’s as close as you can come to blasphemy without getting all biblical! Eat it or don’t! I think I’ll make a bumper sticker out of that.

Next thing you know, people are going to start suggesting that we make fake bacon out of turkey.

What’s the world coming to!?